2018, Year of Blogging

2018 is almost here. In my travel blog’s last post I mentioned that at the start of the year 2017 I promised myself it would be my year of traveling. Surprisingly, it was a quite easy promise to keep. Now it’s time to make my New Year’s resolution for 2018. Wanna know what I have decided? Or maybe the title of this post already gave it away.

The year 2018 is going to be my year of blogging.

If you are an avid reader of my blogs, you know that I am a blogging addict. It all started with my travel blog. Then I created photography blog to learn photo editing. After that, this side blog was born. And I have been talking about starting review blog for forever (I even have like 5 post written for it). In addition to all these, I have wanted to start writing a blog about my adventures as an almost full-time writer for some time now.

That makes 3 blogs and 2 blogs I would like to start at the beginning of 2018. Like I said… I am an addict.

During my travel year 2017, blogging became harder. I have had blogs before but I have never written them longer than for a year. The oldest of my blogs, Go Travel Global, will be two years next February. I have never gotten this far so I have no idea if the writing will get easier. That’s what I want to believe and so 2018 will be dedicated to blogging.

I know that I have told these plans to you earlier. “I will start writing twice a week. No more blogging breaks. Hey, I am back!” When we talk about schedule, I’m the worst. However, this time I have made schedule once again and my plan is to make this really happen. The secret? I started reading writing guidebooks a few months back and all of the books have one staying theme: You have to keep doing it and think it as a job or you won’t succeed. I am going to be blogging more than ever just you wait!

So, what is my ambitious plan?

Mondays: I will publish review post on Reviews From Idiot

Wednesdays: Wanderlust Wednesdays are back! Post every week in Go Travel Global

Fridays: Blog post about living as a writer in my writer’s blog Lost Writer Viivi

Rest of the days I will be posting on this blog. That’s a lot of blogging, right? In fact, if you did read that carefully it means blogging every day of the week for whole year. 

Don’t look me whit those judging eyes! You can think that I will get bored after a few days if you want. When I once decide to really do something there is no stopping me! Lately, I have been thinking a lot and come to the decision that even more than traveling I want to do blogging and writing. My content may not be perfect yet but I think my English skills and writing skills in general get better every time I write something.

Many people do daily vlogging nowadays so can we please start a new trend of daily blogging?

This seems crazy but hey that’s who I am!

Are you ready to start this crazy year with me?

With love,

Viivi Who Fell For Blogging…

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I can’t sleep

For some reason, I have had super long jetlag after returning from my New York, Iceland and Sweden trip. I am sleepy at 5pm, my eyes won’t stay open at 8pm and then when I try to sleep I just can’t fall asleep. Hours of rolling around in my bed. And it gets even worse when I wake up at 5am after sleeping only for about 5 hours. I can’t fall asleep again. It’s just impossible.

What did I do to deserve this torture?

I have always seen a lot of dreams that I remember well but for these few nights, it has gotten even worse. I wake up feeling hazy. What is true and what is not? It would be easier if my dreams didn’t make sense. Can I get flying, dragons and falling in love with someone handsome and famous? Watching my family fighting, friends disappearing and my dreams getting crushed night after night gets boring quickly.

It hasn’t even been a week and the nights are still driving me crazy. I didn’t have any problems when I returned from Japan so why am I struggling so much right now?

With love,

Sleep derivated Viivi

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True raw emotions.

Today I want to speak about suicide. Yesterday someone who I have never met and someone who I don’t even know killed himself. I have never even talked to this person and he had no idea that I even existed but still, this death has impacted me. What else would you except when he impacted my life while still living?

Today I want to speak about suicide but I won’t. I don’t think I can. And that’s why I will tell you a small story.

This is a story of young Viivi who was always lost in her life and who didn’t feel like she belonged. This is a story of someone who found peace and way to continue from listening to music. And then when time went by this changes to a story of her finding a best friend through this strange world of listening to music from bands that you can’t even understand.

It starts at primary school. I can’t remember how. I see a video of band singing language I can’t understand and they are dancing almost too perfectly. It’s odd and new but still enchanting. Weeks, months and years go by me listening to music by myself. At some point, it’s not just the music and amazing videos. I start to watch reality shows, dramas and I remember all members of these bands by name.

I still have no idea what they are saying but I don’t care. I don’t need to understand to enjoy the music.

Then I go to high school and I meet someone who shares my interest. We become friends, travel to concerts, laugh for the silly reality shows and before anything else enjoy the music. It’s a magical time of my life. It’s so easy to be happy. When your own life doesn’t feel right, you can just make yourself to forget everything. Music takes all your worries away and these silly but talented people performing it can always bring a smile to your face.

Years start running faster and my life is changing. I find something else. Traveling, writing blogs and living my life. There is no time for everything but I never forget. When I open Spotify I still listen to kpop more often than not. Even one photo or one memory from the time of my life can make me delighted. It was my youth and it’s still my future. You never truly get over the things you have once loved and today I can see it so clearly.

Yesterday I was messaging with my friend totally normally and then out of nowhere, she asked me did I know why the internet was full of sad Jonghyun. I didn’t. It took a while and then she told me that Jjong had committed suicide. It didn’t sink in first. I haven’t been actively following what happens with Shinee for a long time but they are still one of the bands closest to my heart. I have cried, I have laughed, I have lived listening to their songs.

Shinee was one of the first bands I fell in love with. And no I don’t speak about kpop. I speak about bands generally in all music categories. There are about million memories I could share now because my mind is right now full of them.

Being fifteen and laughing at Amigo because in Finnish the song sounds like they are singing over and over again that they want to fuck. Dancing and singing RingDingDong alone in my room. Being addicted to so many of their songs that it is not even funny. Crying while to The Reason even if I only could understand the words from translations. Still remembering the words of Sherlock even if it has been years.

And lastly listening to Tell Me What To Do over and over again just last week in New York when I was feeling a little bit homesick. Even now it’s kpop and music that makes me survive the hardest parts of my life. Even now after years, it’s Shinee. It will always be Shinee.

Kuva:  BRUNO CERVERA

2017 Predictions, Did they happen?

A few days ago I shared an old draft of mine. Today we are continuing with another old blog post that I never published. I am passionate tarot card reader and I wanted to do a post where I predicted my year 2017. The idea was to make 10 predictions, but I only did 3. Let’s see if I was right!

I love reading tarot cards and surprisingly often my readings are close to the truth. So why not try to predict my own year 2017? And now see if I was even closely correct.

1.My year 2017 generally

“You are living hard times. Your spending and revenues are at the same size so you have to live modestly. Somehow you will cope without getting to problems with money. Use your brains to get out of the tricky situations.

You feel like everything is going to the wrong direction and you are losing the fight. Admit your lose and return to the beginning. That will be the only way to happiness. Say out loud your hoes and dreams. Then go towards them.

If you try hard enough and wait for the right moment the luck will finally be on your side. Wait patiently and everything will be just fine. You will get over any hardships on your way. Just believe in yourself and go towards your dreams.”

2.My personality

“Wanderer who hangs on her opinions even when others don’t believe in them. Someone who complains too much about the tiny stupid things. A person who tries to save money but uses it stupidly. Trying to be nice and kind for others even when struggling herself. A stubborn person who will get in trouble.”

3.Money, assets and material problems

“Get over your fears. If you give up you will lose your money/assets/property. Be brave in all situations. You have to work hard to make enough money. Try to live without spending to useless things.

You are living hard times. Your spending and revenues are at the same size so you have to live modestly. Somehow you will cope without getting to problems with money. Use your brains to get out of the tricky situations.”

So, were the predictions correct?

The funny thing is that I got a same money problems card for two different readings. Did I have money problems? Yes. Like the reading said for some time my spendings and revenues were same. Even now I am in a situation where I can’t spend to anything stupid. But still didn’t have any money problems and never struggled with getting by.

I have worked hard and tried to live as well as I can for the whole year. It’s starting to pay off. I get more and more writing jobs every week and if I wasn’t studying at the same time I think I would be able to do this as a full-time job. Isn’t that crazy?

“You feel like everything is going to the wrong direction and you are losing the fight.”
This sentence sums up my whole year… I started 2017 studying in a city far away from my home and I was miserable. It felt totally a wrong direction and I wanted to keep studying for the sake of “being normal” and “getting a normal job”. In the end, I gave up and found something better.

On the other hand, I am again in this situation but this time with my blogging and especially travel blog. I haven’t been writing because I am not sure what I want to do. But just now about a month ago I gave up for a while. I just stopped. Now I am again ready to start.

Maybe the most true of my predictions was this one sentence: “Say out loud your hoes and dreams. Then go towards them.” I remember this one class from spring when I was still attending to business school actively. There were about hundred people in our class and the teaches wanted every one of us to tell the whole class one thing we are good at. I was scared to death because I have always believed that I am not good at anything.

But at the same time I was panicing, one thought entered my mind. I can write. No, I want to write. I don’t want to study business, I just want to write. When it was my turn I said it out loud for the first time in my life.

“I am good at writing.”
For a moment it was quiet and then my teacher asked me “In what kind of writing?”

“I am good at writing stories, blog articles, about travel, poems, emotions, school work, research, comments, inspiring sentences, lies. I am good at writing anything I want.”

At this point, I had been writing all my life. For over ten years. But it had never occurred to me that maybe it would be my future. Of course, I had dreamed of living by writing books and being a real author but it seemed impossible in my small home country Finland. There was no way I could do it, right? Or maybe I could.

After I had said out loud for the first time that I am good at writing, I couldn’t stop. Words have more power than we think. Soon I am good at writing changed to I want to live my life by writing. Then about four months later I applied to study creative writing in Finnish open university. The words and dreams I had said outloud have started turn alive. I have no idea where I am going but it seems easier now. It is easy to change your own future if you just believe in your own words. Fortunately for me, writing words is the only thing I am good at.

I want to be a writer. I want to travel. I want to try out this blogging and writing thing because it seems to work and I truly love it.

With love,

Mysterious Viivi

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The first not a date

Fifth of December
I remember the first time someone asked me out. I was eighteen, socially awkward and had never dated anyone. Nothing has changed except my age. At that time I was attending this high school psychology summer course while he was from the Swedish course class next to ours. First time we spoke he asked if he could sit next to me and I had nothing against it.

The next two weeks went by us sitting side by side during the short breaks. I was always listening to music with one headphone on and he kept reading quickly changing books. It was nice I have to admit. I didn’t have to sit alone while everyone else had a friend with them. Then one time he asked me what music I was listening to and after that, we had small conversations every now and then.

He was odd but so was I. One of the last breaks we spent together he started reading love poems in Germany for me. It was probably a sign of interest towards me that anyone else could have seen. I didn’t.

During the last day and last break of my course, I told him that we wouldn’t see anymore. He asked me out. I had no idea that he would do it. And even now I am not sure if he truly wanted to go on date or just see me again as a friend. He asked if I would like to come to the library someday with him. Then I promised to ask him as a friend on Facebook but I never did because I forgot his name before I had time.

I still think of him sometimes even if I never felt anything special towards him. He was the first boy who asked me out –probably- and also the only boy who had asked me out for a few years. Never before had I known that anyone would truly be interested in me.

Next time or better said the next few times happened during my Japan trip. I was never sure if they were interested in me or if it was just a friendly gesture. It was never “Would you like to go out with me?” But isn’t asking someone for coffee kind of the same thing? I have no idea so I have never been sure.

After my Japan trip, it started to happen more occasionally. Not often but every now and then. I realized that when I was traveling other people would get interested in me. Maybe I looked more beautiful or free than back at home? I have no idea why but I gained more attention as a traveler and amongst foreigners than back at home in Finland.

At some point, I came to the closure that it must be that “inner beauty” people so often talk about. I look better when I am happy and free of all worries. Or maybe all those people have just been some creeps that prey on silly traveler girls?

With love,

Undateable Viivi

Always either lost or sick

I am sick. I should be writing my travel blog. But for some reason I just can’t do anything. I don’t feel like doing anything. I have been sleeping for hours. Last night I got over 13 hours of sleep so even if my body wants to rest my mind just keeps running wild. This is quite normal. One of my best friends put it well a while back: I am always either sick or lost. 

So, here I am writing like always when my mind can’t keep its calm or when it’s hard to fall asleep. Have you ever been like this? Too tired to do anything but too awake to fall asleep. Today I had short conversation with another of my friends of why I am always sick. He didn’t know about it. We have only known for a year and that time I have been surprisingly well. It brought some memories back to me.

My body gets sick easily and I think that I have problems with containing stress. Because of that I am sick all the time. But that’s not all. There has been times in my life when I used to be sick for months in row. And I am not talking about just some “oh I have cough” sickness. No, I have been sleeping for almost month like sleeping beauty because I just can’t stand up. Can’t remember a much from those times. It’s all just a blur.

I am used to being sick. In fact sometimes I even enjoy it. Well, not that feeling awful and sneezing all the time part but the part where I can download my own batteries by just relaxing. As person I am someone who can’t never really just be and do nothing. My mind is always full of things I haven’t done and at the same time I am always stressing about something. But then I fall sick and there is good reason to just be.

So, maybe me being often sick has something to do with my body trying to take break? Or my mind?

I don’t really know where I was going with this but hey I am sick so I can write whatever I want… (Like I didn’t usually just ponder random thoughts here!) Maybe it’s time for me to stop this odd post. Let’s blame my feverish brains, okay?

With love,

Dead Viivi

Scared of Writing

I have no idea what to write.

I am surprised that I have been writing my travel blog for year and half. Usually my blogging has stopped after the first few months. Now I have been writing bravely even when it has been tiring. And then these last two months happened. I have zero inspiration to write blog. I mean I truly want to and I have ideas but for some reason I just can’t find the strenght to start.

Writing is hard and complicated.

Having readers makes it easier but still so impossible at times. I feel like my English sucks. My posts are just too long and boring. I am writing things that no one wants to read. Why can’t it just be easy? Why I have to care so much?

I have so many stories I want to share with people who for some reason read my texts. I never wrote about my Gdansk or Brighton adventures. Both of those trips have many funny stories I want to tell. In Gdansk I met crazy umbrella man who made me hate gender stereotypes and in Brighton I fell all over again for solo travel. So many stories, so little inspiration.

Maybe that’s why I started writing for this blog again. I for some reason lost all my readers here when playing with hosting services and that may have been the best thing ever. About 20 readers. It feels like a freedom again. Maybe this will help me to find that feeling of writing without caring of anything.

It’s kind of funny that I am so stressed out of people reading my texts. Usually I am that person who cares of nothing. I travel even if my friends and family don’t think it is a good idea. I dress like I want and don’t use make-up just because it’s too tiring. It’s my life and I will do what I want. But this writing thing has always been my weak spot. I love it too much so any bad comment makes me panic. What if I am not good enough? What if this thing I love more than anything (even more than travel) won’t work out?

I have always been good at writing. Not so much in English but in Finnish. People have always praised my writings. During school years I always got full score from creative writing assignments. I loved writing and others loved reading my texts.

Right now I can easily say that writing is my thing and that I am good at it. One year ago the situation was totally different. If someone praised my writing, I thought they were just lying. When someone asked what I can do well, I always thought about writing but never said it out loud. I was ashamed. I still am sometimes but it is getting easier. There is so many people who are better than I at this creative writing thing so how could I ever be good enough in it.

I can now admit that writing is my thing and that I can’t do anything else with my life if I truly want to be happy. And that’s why writing is so scary. If I fail what is left of me? If writing doesn’t work out what can I do?

So, here I am stuck with these feelings. I have no idea how to get over them and maybe there is no other way than just keep writing.

With love,

Scaredy-Cat Viivi

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The Awesome Blogger Award

I was nominated for this blogger award in my travel blog and now I published it in my side blog! And now I am once again sharing this new post I wrote here because apparently the posts you share in your wordpress.org blog (yeah, different thing than wordpress.com blog) the post doesn’t appear here in wordpress.com reader. Why is blogging so hard?

The Awesome Blogger Award

So, if you want to read my answers to 20 questions asked by two of my favorite travel bloggers click the link above!

I hope you are having amazing day and let’s hope I will keep writing my blogs more actively in the future (probably not…)

– Lost Viivi

Turning 22…

I have been busy for the last few weeks… (I accidentally wrote years first and now I have existential crisis because that is too true!) First I was traveling for two week and you can read more about that from my TRAVEL BLOG. Then we had my sister’s graduation party. And now yesterday I turned 22.

22 sounds too much. Where have all my years gone? I keep forgetting how old I am. Every time someone asks my age it takes forever to answer. Maybe I am just trying to forget. Years aren’t going by and I am not standing here doing nothing.

Lately I have been feeling even more lost with my life. I can’t decide what I want to study and what would be the best option for me. How could I know what I will want to do the rest of my life?

Song of the week

AUSTIN PLAINE – NEVER COME BACK AGAIN

Good friend linked this song for me and it just feels so close to my heart. All the lyrics just sound like my thoughts…

Well, I hope you are having a good week! And at least don’t have as big age crisis as I do…
With love,

Lost Viivi

Monthly Addictions

I tried to do this thing of telling you about my favorite movies, music, etc. at the end of every week but like you may see I failed badly. So now lets try me writing about my current addictions in the end of every month.

My month in a few words:

September has been busy month for me. I started new school in unknown place in the end of last month and I got my first apartment on the first day of this month. My weeks have been full of school and getting used to living alone. There has been a few catastrophic accidents (like almost blowing up my microwave) but I have survived. All my weekends have gone by traveling between my new home and my childhood home. But I love this kind of small road trips through Finland so it’s okay.

img_9942

My September addictions…

 

Food

Almost free school food

In Finland our school food is either free or super cheap. Lunch does cost 1,40€ for me and I live for that moment of the day. I don’t have oven on my own apartment so I live on microwave food expect the school days. And our school food is really tasty and we have different kind of breads and salads to go with it.

.           .          .

Movies

Inside Out

September has been full of animation movies for me. Today I enjoyed the Pixar movie Inside Out about emotions living on teen girl’s brains. I loved it! It was kind of funny because my personality is a lot like the Sadness characters and I have a lot of friends who are just like the Happiness character. Even if I’m not always happy I still have my place in this world!

.           .          .

TV-series

Blindspot

This crime TV series started in Finland last month and I have been totally hooked. Strong cool female lead with mysterious past is something I will always enjoy to see. And good looking male lead is good bonus. The tattoos Jane Doe has on her body are amazing and make my aesthetic side scream of happiness.

.           .          .

Manga

Nanbaka

I found this manga to be good stress relief when I have been to busy to properly read any manga. The chapters are short and characters lovable. Who doesn’t love to read about handsome boys who just happen to be a little crazy dangerous criminals in prison? Sorry, I have problems with my bad boy complex…

.           .          .

Songs

Alma – Karma

I bring the karma to your game. You better run run run yeah! I was totally hooked with this amazing Finnish singer at the beginning of September and this song still makes me sing along. This is totally my fighting song or maybe better said my “I want to be badass” song because I’m totally loser.

Blackpink – Boombayah

I would love this band only for it’s name but fortunately their music is even better than the name. I think my new class mates must think I’m crazy because I may or may not always dance on my way to school while listening this song. Boombayah!

.           .          .

The important questions of this month…

Can I microwave frozen onion rings?

-Answer is: you shouldn’t probably test that. I think I almost caused fire by trying. Ups…

How do I change the battery of fire alarm?

-I haven’t yet figured this out. I will update you next month if I finally found someone to teach me how to change it…

How is living alone going?

-If we don’t think the few times I have almost killed my self or destroyed the whole house, I would say I have done quite well. I’m still alive and I think no one excepted that when I left home month ago!

Should I give up learning new languages?

-At the start of this month I got this good idea of going to Japanese language class. Now I’m in problems because I’m the worst in learning languages… Answer for this question is I should but I will probably never stop trying.

.           .          .

Where have I travelled?

streetart
My new home town has crazy street art!

This month has been busy one so I only travelled around Finland. I visited many cities like Rovaniemi, Kannus, Kalajoki, Kajaani and Oulu. I have also been adventuring around my new hometown.

.           .          .

Plans for October…

I have booked week long trip to London because I have time off from school. The rest of October I will be working and doing school stuff. Nothing extraordinary. Well expect I should start the Youtube channel I promised to make when I get 1 000 readers for my blog. (We already passed that point so I’m a little late…)

.           .          .

 

How has your month been? I hope you have had amazing time!

With love,

Viivi Severina