Back home but not really

Hello there!
How are you? I have just returned to home from my almost three weeks long trip around Eastern Europe and like always after coming back home I am kind of lost. I love just relaxing at home but at the same time I have too much time. Nothing has changed even if once again I have learned so many new things.

I have had an adventure that should change the whole world but everything is like before I left. My room is still a big mess and far from the point where I could even think about cleaning it. My family and friends still go to school and work like before I left. Everyone smiles and talks like I had been here all along. They have all the rights to continue their lives like before but it’s hard for me.

Every time I come back I want to leave again even more badly. My feet get itchy and mind wonders thousands of kilometers to other worlds. I can’t stop writing stories of my feelings. Maybe I am just meant to be wanderer who never returns? But then again I know that this three weeks was close to my own limit. Waking up in new city every other day is amazing but gets tiring after a while. I needed this break and still my mind just wants to go despite the tiredness of my body.

Traveling is addictive. It’s a little bit like smoking or using drugs. You know that being on the road all the time won’t be good for you. It’s stressful and it wears down your body. You know you shouldn’t and still you keep looking for those new flights like alcoholic for the bottle. You just have to and that’s it.

I have been at home for two days. Two full days and I already feel like my mind never truly returned. I love being at home. I love seeing my friends and family. I love sleeping in my own bed dreaming endlessly of nothing. I love just being here and relaxing in the safe environment I am used to. I love home but for some reason I can’t enjoy it for 100%. There is always this small voice telling me to go. Go and see new places, new worlds, new miracles.

Is this just me? Or is this one of the traveler problems we all have? Maybe I have just bad case of wanderlust or my mind is tired of the normal life. Whatever the reason is I am not sure how to control this. Writing seems to help. Writing this blog, writing stories and even writing work things. My two passions. Writing and traveling. I have to find the balance between them…

So, have you ever felt like this? What is in your mind after you have returned from big adventure?

With love,

Always Lost Viivi

Follow my random Twitter and colorful Instagram!
Photo: Mehmet Kürşat Değer

Advertisements

I don’t want to leave, but I can’t stay

Week before traveling is always the hardest but also the easiest time for me. I am never truly there. My mind is already traveling towards the soon to be adventures, new cities I will take over and those experiences only I can… well… experience. Whatever I do in the end my mind will go back to the things I have to pack, counting the minutes to my take-off and of course planning all the things I will do.

It is hard to be truly here back at home but at the same time it is a lot easier week when compared to other week of my back at home life. Why? I know that I am leaving soon. It may sound bad. I would love to be someone who loved to be back at home with her family and never leave everyone else behind. But I can’t and that’s why the days before traveling are some of the best ones I ever have back at home.

During these few days my mind is always at traveling but at the same time I am meeting so many friends, spending time with my family and trying to enjoy every second I have with them. I love being back at home because of these people so dear to me and still nothing could hold me here for too long. It makes week before traveling so important.

During this time I always remember why these people are so close to my heart and why I have to return after having my own small adventure.

Sometimes it feels like I am living between two words. I have two totally different personalities. I am Viivi who never wants to leave and I am Viivi who never wants to stay. It’s unsettling and still I wouldn’t change it to anything.

So, these next few days I will enjoy my life here back at home. I will meet friends, I will help my sister at moving to her first own home, I will eat Finnish food and live in my grandpa’s basement. But then on Sunday I will board the plane. I will go towards my new adventure, I will write all the time, I will meet new people, eat new foods and enjoy every second of this time I so badly need.

This is my life and for some odd reason I have grown to love it.

Sorry for yet another random text. I hope you are having an amazing day.
With love,

Viivi with mixed feelings 

Follow my random Twitter and colorful Instagram!
Photo: Nik MacMillan

Problems with everything

Problems With Studying and Parents

 

Does anyone know if there is way to make my self hosted wordpress.org site to appear in the wordpress.com reader? I am super happy that I decided to first try out this with my side blog and not with my real blog… This is hard!

And if you are interested behind that link you can find my newest diary post. Thanks!

With love,

Viivi

I have to work, work, work…

This week has full of surprises, drama and future planning even if it’s only Wednesday. However for the sake of this diary “series” I want to return back to last week. I don’t have a lot of things to tell because it was quiet week with nothing to do.

The major thing that happened last week was my work officially starting. Monday morning was full of chaos because I had totally lost my keys and everything needed for day in work (I am not responsible adult who thinks things like this the night before…) What made my morning even worse was the fact that I was going to “move” right after my work. So, I packed everything I thought I would need during summer to my car and drove towards my work place.

It took a few hours to remember why I love my work. What to I do? Well, official tittle would be church guide but it is a lot more. Talking with people, making them smile with interesting facts about this building and making sure that everyone has good time. Many people don’t expect a lot when stopping to visit this small church. That’s why surprising them with interesting information and not just the usual “This church was build 200 years ago… Blaa, blaa, blaa…” I think I have accomplishes my job if people leave my church smiling and thanking me.

This is my third summer working here and I already know that I am going to miss this place. Fortunately, I still have one month to enjoy five days a week. Like every job this one too has bad side… I have too much free time! I never thought that would be problem when working. Of course it’s nice to just read books, write stories and fill crosswords. But a little more visitors would be nice so I could really feel like I am doing my job.

After five days of working I had whole weekend of. It was fittingly midsommer fest so I spend Friday with my family eating good food and doing some garden work. Then my friend visited me in my “new home” aka my family’s summer cottage. Yes, I am living this whole summer in the middle of forest… But fortunately I don’t have to be alone much.
I think there was everything important. More boring diary texts will be coming sometime soon! 

With love,

Viivi

My week of missing traveling

Hello once again everyone! I hope you have had another amazing week. I – like the title says – missed traveling and was busy getting ready for my summer job starting. So normal week that it is quite hard to even describe.

If we start from the Monday, my yearning for traveling started right away. I have never taken anyone else to the airport. It has always been me who has left. However this Monday I drove my little sister (okay, she is already adult but for me she is forever my little sister…) to the airport and left her there. She is going for month long interail around Europe. Yes, I am totally jealous! I want to travel even if I just returned from a few weeks long trip. But now I have work to do for June and July and only after that I have planned Rome trip with my mom.

But really taking someone else to the airport is so odd feeling. I am used to seeing airports as places for me to escape to somewhere magical. Airports mean adventure. But now I just drove in front of it. Said goodbyes for my sister and drove back home watching airplanes taking of in my rear view mirror. I wasn’t in one of those planes and it hurts. My whole week went missing traveling and feeling like I was in wrong place. I should have been in some exotic country, not in cold boring Finland. Now my work has started and fortunately those feelings aren’t as vivid anymore. I love my job and this summer is going to be amazing.

During the rest of the week I met friends, ate too much ice cream and just enjoyed the last days of my summer holiday. I may have watched almost whole season of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries but I am not going to admit anything. In addition to just chilling and going to flea market shopping with friends, I was as dog sitter for my family’s dog and did long walks around the nearby forest.

After week of relaxing my weekend was full of activities. First I was looking after my friends dog while she was at work (that took all Saturday morning and afternoon). Right after she got her dog I left with my mother to my cousin’s graduation party. It was, well, everything I was waiting for. It was like parties with my family always goes. Fun, chaotic and a lot of arguing. Fortunately, good food makes everything better.

Usually people keep asking about my future plans but surprisingly this time there was almost no talking about my wrong university decisions. My grandpa is giving up with the hope of me going to Estonia to study veterinary. Even if I survived school talks someone almost revealed my travel blog to my grandpa. Last time he knew that I wrote blog it ended up printed to our family book. This time I rather keep it just in internet…

Then on Sunday I had to wake up too early for my own good and drive to work. And here I am now, just working working working. I will be living the whole summer on our cottage and enjoying Finnish summer life. What would be better way to spend your holiday?

Song Of The Week

Noah Curys – I’m Stuck

I hope you are having an amazing day!

Lost Viivi

Turning 22…

I have been busy for the last few weeks… (I accidentally wrote years first and now I have existential crisis because that is too true!) First I was traveling for two week and you can read more about that from my TRAVEL BLOG. Then we had my sister’s graduation party. And now yesterday I turned 22.

22 sounds too much. Where have all my years gone? I keep forgetting how old I am. Every time someone asks my age it takes forever to answer. Maybe I am just trying to forget. Years aren’t going by and I am not standing here doing nothing.

Lately I have been feeling even more lost with my life. I can’t decide what I want to study and what would be the best option for me. How could I know what I will want to do the rest of my life?

Song of the week

AUSTIN PLAINE – NEVER COME BACK AGAIN

Good friend linked this song for me and it just feels so close to my heart. All the lyrics just sound like my thoughts…

Well, I hope you are having a good week! And at least don’t have as big age crisis as I do…
With love,

Lost Viivi

More Travel Planning…

Last week I was so excited about my new camera that I totally forgot to write about this trip I planned earlier that week. So, surprise! I am right now writing this weekly wrap-up in plane flying towards Bremen. If you read my travel blog, you probably already knew that but here I am once again traveling towards big adventure.

So last week went by getting ready for my trip and having week full of Eurovision. Firstly about this travel plan. I will be traveling the next two weeks. First to Bremen and then after a few days to London and Brighton. You may be surprised but I studied German for seven years. (I can’t say anything…) So, I have wanted to visit there almost half of my life. I went once to Berlin but we only stayed for one day and only attended to concert.

Brighton has also been on my bucket list forever. I don’t even remember when and from where I first heard about this place but I knew immediately that this city was meant for me. I don’t know if any of you has ever felt it but for me some cities just awake feeling of belonging. Brighton is definitely one of those places.

It was kind if hard to get ready for my trip because at the same time we had crazy Eurovision week. Finland didn’t get in the finals (this is third time in the row but let’s not talk about that…). However, there was some amazing performances this year. That opera pop man was one of my favorites. And as person who loves music mixing different genres to one big mess rapping yodeling just stole my heart.

My opinion of the winner? Well, it wasn’t bad and he doesn’t deserve the hate he gets. I just didn’t like the song and singer’s style personally. Also, I am so happy about Portugal’s win! (And not only because I had been planning to travel to see the Eurovision next year with my friend.) Finland has won once with Lordi so I am always happy for other countries winning for the first time.

Watching Eurovision with family is like tradition and even if I have many friends who don’t care at all what happens in this music competition my family has always been kind of Eurovision freaks. (Not severely but we watch all the semis and final and everything else concerning Eurovision.)

I have nothing else. My week was super boring so nothing more to share. Next Monday will be more interesting and full of pretty travel photos. If I just learn to use my lovely new camera before that… I am hopeless with using it…

With love,

Viivi Severina

 

Camera shopping and travel planning

I think this must be my personal record! Third week in a row I am here writing my weekly wrap-up post. Even if it is already Tuesday… I don’t know if anyone even wants to read boring stuff like this but hey I have never let it stop me.

Last week was quite boring one for me. It was finally warm here in Finland so I ate too much ice cream and spent days outside enjoying the sun. I also had time to see a lot of friends, do some big life decisions that have been on my mind for a while and buy new camera. What else would one wish from the first week of May?

Week 19 And Summer Is In Finland!

When the week started I also had finally returned back to live in my childhood town. Because I don’t have proper place anywhere I kept going between my mom’s, dad’s and grandpa’s places. I had planned doing some cleaning but like usually that never happened. All my things are still totally in chaos after the move. Maybe I will get to the cleaning this week… Probably not.

Because I never cleaned I had a lot of time to see my friends. I visited one of my best friends in her work. And helped taking care of goats after a long time. If you didn’t know, I am in theory professional animal career. I studied it for three years. It felt good to work with animals after a long time.

I also went to buy camera for me with my another friend. I have been writing my travel blog for a little over year but I have never owned a camera. I have always been borrowing one from my other family members and most of the photos in my blog are taken with phone. But now I own Sony a5100 camera and I am totally in love!

We went to look for the camera on Saturday and I first didn’t mean to even buy it any time soon. Still, I almost bought it right there and then. We visited all three places selling cameras near my home. I found the one I want from the first shop but we still visited other places after returning there. I decided not to buy the camera because my mum was suggesting another one for me.

I returned home and started to regret my decision not to buy it. On Sunday I went back right after the opening time because I had already fallen in love. However my camera bying didn’t go as well as planned. I totally blame the handsome employee who sold it for me.

finnish_forest
Fortunately, Finland has many good places to practice photography without anyone seeing me embarrass myself!

Story Of Unfortunate Camera Buying Trip

I came to the shop but there was no employees on the camera section. I of course already knew what camera I wanted but I still needed to know more about the insurance that would cost about 80€ more. After studying business for a year the one thing I had learned was to always research everything thoroughly before giving away your money.

I was walking around waiting for employee who would help me when this dreamy looking man came to me. Why the heck do I always encounter the good looking sellers? It would be a lot easier to talk with old ugly looking man than model-like man (okay, model-like is exaggeration but I have always had thing for pretty eyes and charming smile). At least this time it wasn’t me who failed in the end…

After I told him that I needed help with camera I got uncertain answer that he may not be the best person to help me but let’s try. I thought that it would be okay because I had already decided the camera I wanted. Waiting for someone who knew more would have been good idea. I would have saved a lot of time.

I even pitied the boy after asking too many questions about the insurance and then demanding to see the official terms and conditions. He had to google them for me and at this point I should have realized that he had no idea what he was doing. But hey, you can’t be angry for pretty eyes.

I left the store with my new camera and sill dazed by that dreamy boy only to realize at home that he had given me the wrong camera. Great. That’s all I could think about when driving back to the store to get my lovely black Sony a5100. It wasn’t that much of bother and I returned back to home happily.

When opening my camera later at that night and starting to use it I realized yet another thing. I needed memory card and the boy had not sold me one and hadn’t even mentioned that I needed one. This is probably clear for all camera owners but keep in mind that this really is my first own camera. At this point I may have been cursing the cute eyed boy but at least I got my lovely camera and memory card to use it in the end…

 

Song Of The Week

Norma John – Blackbird

It is finally time for Eurovision Song Contest! Fun fact: I am big fan and every year watching Eurovision is big thing in my family. Finland’s song didn’t charm at first but it has now found its place on my heart (I feel like this happens every year…) I don’t know if they have potential to win but hey at least for once we don’t have to be embarrassed. Vote for Finland! Or at least listen the song.

 

I hope you are having an amazing day.
With love,

Viivi Severina

 

And Winter Is Back…

I kept my promise and here is another weekly wrap-up post. Maybe this will be really a thing here in my blog? Because my holiday started last week I will have more time to write and blog. I will keep trying to write once a week in this blog but who knows what will happen. At least now I will start updating two times a week, like I have meant to do, in my TRAVEL BLOG.

 

Snowy Week Number 18…

If I had to describe my week with one word it would be SNOW… Most of other Finns probably agree with me. Even in my lovely home country Finland it should be spring and sunny at this time of the year. Right now when I am writing this (disclaimer: I wrote this on Sunday and forgot to publish…) it looks like the photo underneath:

finland_in_may

Who allowed this winter to return? Unfortunately for me, I had to drive with summer tires for hours when I moved back to my mom’s place. Like I mentioned above my school ended and summer holiday began so it was time to move out of my student city. Feels so odd because I lived there for a year and I don’t know if I will ever return.

While driving car full of stuff I took with me while moving I saw something super Finnish and funny. It was snowing but all ice cream kiosks were open. I mean, why not? When summer once starts in Finland we are not giving up. Not even if it means lining up for ice cream in snowfall and freezing weather!

Of course I stopped for ice cream during my drive like a many other people. There I stood in snowfall waiting for my turn to buy ice cream. I had my sneakers on and the rest of my way I had to suffer with wet shoes. But totally worth it! I opened the ice cream season and now I can say that it is officially summer.

After returning back to home I didn’t do a much, just some baking and resting after hard moving week. This resting included watching too much Netflix. Right now I am totally hooked with series like Brooklyn Nine-Nine and White Collar. My love for crime series is just endless and these two series have plots/style out of the ordinary detective series.

My long Netflix marathons aren’t so good thing because I have soon entrance exams to university. I have still no idea what I want to do so I don’t even know what to study. I have kind of fallen in love with translation jobs so maybe I will try to study English? If I ever get in because my language skills are the worst…

 

Song Of The Week:

Julia Brennan – Inner Demons

This week I have been totally hooked to this song. Julia is so pretty, her voice AMAZING and that video just so aesthetic. I would also totally stole those black jeans if I had a change…

 

So, how is your week going? Any fun stories? Or maybe new music for me to listen? Like always all comments are welcome.

With love,

Viivi Severina

I’m not a boy, I like pink!

I really want to write something more than just answers to blogger awards in this blog… I have always been good at writing random things (and also boring text without any proper meaning…) So, I was thinking about trying to write something every week. Trying to write. If you read my travel blog you may already know that I am the worst at keeping these kind of promises.

BUT my school is ending in a week and I have whole summer to write more. Maybe I will make this to work? So, wait for weekly wrap ups or whatever you want to call these on Monday or Sundays (or never). I will just talk about my week and maybe you can tell me about your week in the comments.

 

So, what happened to me on week 17?

To tell the truth, nothing much. I was sick the whole week and I had to move all furniture out of my apartment. I have to move out this Friday so last week I had meant to start cleaning and stuff. In the end I did almost nothing.

The start of last week was nice because I was still hyped up from my Easter family trip to Stockholm. We saw a lot of beautiful cherry blossoms there and now all I can think about is how could I save money to travel to Japan next spring. I just have to see more of that beauty!

(I may be quite boyish but I love everything pink…)

In addition to moving, being sick and recovering from travel, I sat in car for too long. First when my dad was helping me to move my stuff back to my hometown. Then another five hours trip back to my current university town. I love driving alone for long periods of time so I had no complaining. It calms my mind and right now I have too many things in my head.

I stopped for tea three times just to relax, walk around gas stations and enjoy the weather. (That last part is totally ironical…) About half of my drive back to my student city it was snowing. Snow in April… Welcome to Finland! Funny thing is that even if it was snowing I also saw the first ice cream kiosks of this summer.

I’m not kidding! It’s so comical to see open kiosk and signs for ice cream while you are driving in snowfall. And because Finns are desperate for summer to start I even saw customers in four of the five kiosks I saw during that five hours. Who wouldn’t love ice cream even if it is cold and wintery?

 

Funny Story Of The Week

I am someone who is always in some kind of problems or in awkward situations. Last week maybe the funniest moment I had with another human being was in gas station’s toilet. I had stopped for tea break during my long drive back home and of course first things first I decided to find the toilets. I went in, did my business and all good. I was washing my hands when a little girl (maybe about 5 years old but I am bad at guessing ages…) and her mother walked to the sink next to mine.

Totally normal and all good I dried my hands until I heard whisper behind me:

“Mom… What is that boy doing in girls’ toilet?”

At this point I was trying to not laugh and the mom looked super embarrassed while explaining to her child that I was in fact girl. I mean I have short hair, boyish face and my huge hoodie hided my boobs so I can understand why the little girl was mistaken. This is not even the first time something like this has happened so I am kind of used to it. But every time this happens it is still the funniest thing if you ask from me.

I am forever confusing children (and sometimes even adults)! 😀

 

Song Of The Week

SVGV – Who Am I

THIS SONG! It is just too real… The lyrics are like straight from my mind. Somehow it has always been hard for me to know who I am. I feel like everyone around me know what they want to do and where to go with their lives. Me in the other hand… Well, I have no idea. I have always wanted to do everything but I don’t see myself doing any of those things for the rest of my life.

In the morning, in the street
In the music, in the beat
In the people I see
I’ve been looking for myself

In the train, In the rain
In the pain, In the gain
In the city I came
I’ve been looking for myself

Whatever I do and where ever I go I just feel like I am looking for myself. Maybe this thing would be my thing? Maybe this way of living the right one for me? I don’t really know. And I have never understood. How can some people just decide so easily what they want to do? I mean this world is full of different choices. So many ways one can live. I just don’t know how could I choose only one life path for myself…

 

I didn’t mean to end this so dramatically and depressingly. Sorry. So, how have you been? Any good or bad moments you want to share? Let’s hope I will write again next Monday (or at least some time in the future…)

With love,

Viivi Severina