Low point in my life

You know you have a problem when your procrastination has found a totally new level of stupidity. You are leaving away for over a week tomorrow morning but haven’t even packed yet because you’re stuck watching coin pusher and claw machine videos from the internet. Why the heck coin pusher and claw machines of all the videos you could possibly enjoy? It’s so addicting and especially when you should be packing, working and cleaning.

I was doing so good with my daily blogging. For a week and a half. I posted every day and it was so much fun. Then I decided to skip one day. Just one day… That’s not a bad thing, right? But then that one day changed to two days and now almost to three days and it feels again so hard to come up with ideas for posts. Look at me, I’m just complaining. It’s the easiest form of writing: bad feelings and stupid worries.

But at least I am traveling tomorrow. And my week has been full of meeting my best friends. I have written a lot and worked regularly. Everything should be good but it’s just hard to get anything done. It’s almost midnight and I should still do so many things before going to sleep. Maybe just one more claw machine video. Ten more minutes and then I will continue my chores… or not…

But aren’t those videos just so addicting? Now I want to play some arcade games.

With love,

Viivi with problem

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2017 Predictions, Did they happen?

A few days ago I shared an old draft of mine. Today we are continuing with another old blog post that I never published. I am passionate tarot card reader and I wanted to do a post where I predicted my year 2017. The idea was to make 10 predictions, but I only did 3. Let’s see if I was right!

I love reading tarot cards and surprisingly often my readings are close to the truth. So why not try to predict my own year 2017? And now see if I was even closely correct.

1.My year 2017 generally

“You are living hard times. Your spending and revenues are at the same size so you have to live modestly. Somehow you will cope without getting to problems with money. Use your brains to get out of the tricky situations.

You feel like everything is going to the wrong direction and you are losing the fight. Admit your lose and return to the beginning. That will be the only way to happiness. Say out loud your hoes and dreams. Then go towards them.

If you try hard enough and wait for the right moment the luck will finally be on your side. Wait patiently and everything will be just fine. You will get over any hardships on your way. Just believe in yourself and go towards your dreams.”

2.My personality

“Wanderer who hangs on her opinions even when others don’t believe in them. Someone who complains too much about the tiny stupid things. A person who tries to save money but uses it stupidly. Trying to be nice and kind for others even when struggling herself. A stubborn person who will get in trouble.”

3.Money, assets and material problems

“Get over your fears. If you give up you will lose your money/assets/property. Be brave in all situations. You have to work hard to make enough money. Try to live without spending to useless things.

You are living hard times. Your spending and revenues are at the same size so you have to live modestly. Somehow you will cope without getting to problems with money. Use your brains to get out of the tricky situations.”

So, were the predictions correct?

The funny thing is that I got a same money problems card for two different readings. Did I have money problems? Yes. Like the reading said for some time my spendings and revenues were same. Even now I am in a situation where I can’t spend to anything stupid. But still didn’t have any money problems and never struggled with getting by.

I have worked hard and tried to live as well as I can for the whole year. It’s starting to pay off. I get more and more writing jobs every week and if I wasn’t studying at the same time I think I would be able to do this as a full-time job. Isn’t that crazy?

“You feel like everything is going to the wrong direction and you are losing the fight.”
This sentence sums up my whole year… I started 2017 studying in a city far away from my home and I was miserable. It felt totally a wrong direction and I wanted to keep studying for the sake of “being normal” and “getting a normal job”. In the end, I gave up and found something better.

On the other hand, I am again in this situation but this time with my blogging and especially travel blog. I haven’t been writing because I am not sure what I want to do. But just now about a month ago I gave up for a while. I just stopped. Now I am again ready to start.

Maybe the most true of my predictions was this one sentence: “Say out loud your hoes and dreams. Then go towards them.” I remember this one class from spring when I was still attending to business school actively. There were about hundred people in our class and the teaches wanted every one of us to tell the whole class one thing we are good at. I was scared to death because I have always believed that I am not good at anything.

But at the same time I was panicing, one thought entered my mind. I can write. No, I want to write. I don’t want to study business, I just want to write. When it was my turn I said it out loud for the first time in my life.

“I am good at writing.”
For a moment it was quiet and then my teacher asked me “In what kind of writing?”

“I am good at writing stories, blog articles, about travel, poems, emotions, school work, research, comments, inspiring sentences, lies. I am good at writing anything I want.”

At this point, I had been writing all my life. For over ten years. But it had never occurred to me that maybe it would be my future. Of course, I had dreamed of living by writing books and being a real author but it seemed impossible in my small home country Finland. There was no way I could do it, right? Or maybe I could.

After I had said out loud for the first time that I am good at writing, I couldn’t stop. Words have more power than we think. Soon I am good at writing changed to I want to live my life by writing. Then about four months later I applied to study creative writing in Finnish open university. The words and dreams I had said outloud have started turn alive. I have no idea where I am going but it seems easier now. It is easy to change your own future if you just believe in your own words. Fortunately for me, writing words is the only thing I am good at.

I want to be a writer. I want to travel. I want to try out this blogging and writing thing because it seems to work and I truly love it.

With love,

Mysterious Viivi

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Photo: Sergi Viladesau