Leaving everything for the last minute…

Dear readers,

today I’m trying to write learning diary that I should have started a long time ago and continue doing during the last two months. I haven’t written even one sentence before realizing today that I have only two more days before the deadline. Does this ever happen to you? Or am I the only one who struggles with doing everything last minute?

It’s impossible to recall what we did during the weekend my creative writing course’s last weekend took place. “Creative processes” that’s the subject but I can’t come up even one thing I learned. Not even one idea to add to my learning diary. Neither have I any idea have I even been writing in April or May.

This has to be some kind of punishment for never doing anything on time!

Usually, faking is my specialty. I survived high school with above average scores doing only the minimal amount of homework and never studying to tests if I wasn’t interested (and I was only interested in psychology and writing…) My life has been full of events not requiring me to give my everything for them. After high school, I ended up studying business: I was one of the best but literally skipped half of the classes. Now I’m working on my own but even that doesn’t challenge me enough.

And then I started studying creative writing in open university. Still seems like a dream. For the first time, I really wanted to do everything I could to be the best I can. But getting the full scores doing nothing just didn’t encourage me enough. Maybe this should be the happiest moment of my life? The best of best Finnish creative writing teachers liked my writing enough to give me great feedback and best possible scores! Why can’t I enjoy this moment?

Easy has never been for me. Normal has never been for me. I get bored and that will end killing me. I’m not even kidding…

So, now after not trying and never doing anything I’m getting punished. And even then I know that I will survive with good enough results. It’s sad to live life always trying just enough to keep going but never enough to really get invested in anything.

But I’m not giving up. I never give up. 

Sorry for this odd diary entry. But expect more of them in the future! I’m trying to be real so it means getting my messy thought on the blog…

With love,
Lost Viivi

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Adjusting to daily blogging

I’m proud of myself. I have only skipped writing a post twice during this month. The goal was to have at most 3 unsuccessful writing days. There are still days left but this is looking fine!

However, I have to adjust my schedule a little bit. Having too many long posts to write isn’t that good idea and I’m missing my 10 minutes thoughts series where I just ramble about nothing important. The new schedule is here!

Daily blogging schedule:
[Mon: Reviews, Tues: BusinessWed: TravelThu:  Lifestyle
Fri: WritingSat: ReviewsSun: LifestyleDaily: Photographs]

Looks unreal to have post ideas for every day of the week but at the same time, I’m loving this… Imagine if you could just spend all your days writing blog posts? How could I make that possible? Any ideas? Well, for some time now I just have to keep doing my other lovely jobs. No complaining!

With love,
Lost Viivi

Daily blogging again!

I’m trying it again and this time I have a plan. Who knows if it will come true…

In January I promised myself to start daily blogging but then life happened like usually. It only took a few short months for my life to turn upside down. Dropping out from my university, taking the creative writing studies more seriously and deciding to go full time as a writer. And then in addition to all that I decided to start my own company.

It truly has been busy.

But then I spent two weeks holiday in Turkey last month. My life has been full of travels around the world for two years but the last time I went on real relaxation holiday was ages ago. Relaxing under a sun in all-inclusive resort made me realize the truth: I love writing but I want to be a blogger.

My dream has as long as I remember been to write a book. This shy awkward girl has had a head full of stories and plot ideas starting from the kindergarten. It’s still my dream but I’m growing and realizing more things about myself. Earlier this year I talked about not wanting to be full-time traveler even if that had been my aim for over a year. This is similar realization.

I love creative writing but that’s not something I want to do as a full-time job. Neither do I want to continue forever writing blog posts and content for others. Blogging. I seem to drift towards it again and again. It’s hard but so are all the best things in our lives. For some reason writing freely these silly things talking about myself, traveling, writing and books are just like a dream.

Could I do this as my job someday in the future?
Maybe, maybe not.
To find out I have to keep writing and that’s why I’m back at this daily blogging thing. Even if this never goes anywhere, I can later return back to these days thinking that I truly kept doing what I love despite opinions of everyone else.

So, are you ready? New posts should be coming every day!
I have promised myself that I can skip 3 days every month. If I don’t follow that rule, it means surviving the next month without any sweets. Terrible, right?

Here is my blogging schedule that may change at any time:

Mondays: Book reviews
Tuesdays: Life as a wannabe girlboss
Wednesdays: Travel blogging
Thursday: Writing my review blog
Friday: Blog post about creative writing
Saturday: More reviews
Sunday: Posts here on my lost side blog

Anyone else wanna try this impossible challenge with me? Like always all comments are more than welcome. Have a nice day (or night in my case)!

With love,
Lost Viivi

PS. Follow my daily blogging challenge, random Twitter, and colorful Instagram!
Daily blogging schedule:
Mondays: Reviews, Tuesdays: Business
Wednesdays: Travel, Thursdays: Reviews
Fridays: Writing, Saturdays: Reviews
Sundays: Lifestyle, Daily: Photographs

 

Maybe tomorrow. Next week. Soon.

Days go by too fast and I’m left behind wondering where all the time went. So many things I want to do, so many I just have to get done. My time isn’t enough but that may be because most of my weeks are full of writing, reading and talking with friends. The important things wait in my room half finished and never done. I don’t forget them but my mind just keeps pushing them aside.

I will continue tomorrow. Next week. Soon.

A room full of papers with small scribbles, pens in the colors of the rainbow all around my messy floor and books. Books in straight lines on too many shelves, books under my bed forgotten after falling asleep in between pages and books all over the room just sticking from the most surprising places. Stories that are written by me and by the bestselling authors next to each other taking over my bed and nightstand.

I have been sleeping in my guest bed for months.

There’s always music. Either my big speakers are blasting the latest pop songs or then you can hear secretly listened to music from all around the world through my headphones. Whatever is the situation you can hear some kind of music in my life. When I’m sad, happy, writing, lost, planning my next trips, reading, working, cleaning, desperate or escaping from my own life.

Music is my medicine, inspiration and coping mechanism. 

With love,

Viivi who is prisoner in her life

10 Minutes Thoughts is my blogging series of non-edited writing. I count 10 minutes and write as much as I can and about whatever is in my mind. Sorry for the grammar errors, random thoughts and thing that won’t make sense but this is the real me.

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Photo: Jazmin Quaynor

Tea, thoughts, and snowy nights

It’s snowing hard and I’m staring out into the darkness. I have tried to start this post for last two weeks. It’s hard to write daily.

I’m sitting on a plane flying to London.
I’m staring the sea from my hostel bed.
I’m sipping chai latte in small colorful cafe.
I’m staring out to the airport runway from my hotel room.
I’m trying to write something, anything in my own bed.

None of those sentences started this post. It took me two weeks to find the right words. It’s snowing. I can’t leave my mom’s place and return home because there is too much snow. I wrote a book review on Tuesday and travel post yesterday on Wednesday. I’m on writing daily streak once again. Maybe it will get easier? Probably not.

Lately, I have been listening to too many motivational speeches and spent hours just reading motivational quotes from Pinterest. Something inside of me wants to be that person who wakes up early every morning to do productive activities. I want to write thousands of words every day and finish a novel in 30 days. If there was a way to stop this addiction I have towards daydreaming for hours, you could see me as the first one lining up to test the cure.

I’m lazy.

It’s simple. I’m lazy, unproductive and keen to use a time for unnecessary things.

Maybe it’s not a bad thing? If I just could make money daydreaming. And maybe I can. My mind is writers mind. Whatever I do and where ever I go, my mind finds new story ideas and creates new characters based on the people I meet or see. Daydreaming. My pen has to move faster so I can make this thing work. Memories and thoughts are so quick to disappear. It’s hard to find paper and pen when you could just lay in your bed dreaming of new worlds. But maybe I can?

This post has once again been a mess. That’s who I’m so getting used to it. Random thoughts and quickly changing subjects. This is my blog and I do whatever I want. As long as I think like that, the writing won’t be that hard. My texts, stories and the words I write are made for me, not for anyone else. Let’s hope I will write again tomorrow. Who knows…

With love,

Lost Viivi

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Photo: Andi Rizal

Finding that blogging motivation

Hello everyone!

My first week of daily blogging is over and it has been amazing. Like truly amazing. Before starting I was thinking that writing daily to my blogs would be one big nightmare. I was expecting it to be super hard, almost impossible and me to miss days right away. That didn’t happen. For the last six days, I have been blogging every day and it has been a bliss.

The motivation and excitement I had during the first year of blogging have returned.

There are so many new ideas, subjects for posts and things I want to share with the world. My mind is full of thoughts that want to get out. Especially my newest blogs and writing them is just so wonderful. No need to stress what others think because I don’t have that many readers on those blogs and the subjects are something I’m passionate about. Writing, books, movies, and music. I could talk about them forever.

After writing every day for the last week, one thought has been constantly in my mind… I want to do this. I want to wake up late and start my day by writing. Then I want to continue by writing some more. Writing blogs, writing stories, writing anything and all the time. Reading books, listening to good music and binge-watching TV series. At some point going out and seeing my friends or sitting alone in small cafes in foreigner cities writing about the people walking past.

I will keep blogging every day next week, week after that, month after that and until the end of this year. This is a promise. Even if I am bad at keeping them, this one won’t break. How do I know?

When I once truly decide something (and when someone tells me that I can’t do it), nothing can stop me. Writing a blog, daily blogging and working as a full-time writer are things like that.

NOTHING CAN STOP ME!

With love

Determined Viivi

I am struggling with procrastination

I procrastinate more than most of the people. If there is any task I have to do before an exact date, it’s 99% possibility that I won’t do it until there are about three hours left. And still, I never return anything late. And usually, my work gets praised. During high school and primary school, this worked just fine. I had a deadline for almost everything and I did well in tests without studying but now when I am officially “adult” everything is a struggle.

At mornings I know exactly what I should do during the day but when I fall asleep at night I have never done everything. With sending emails or making phone calls it gets even worse. For example, right now I have been trying to make one call to my bank for about six months. SIX MONTHS. That’s not an even bad situation in my bad case because one email has been waiting to be sent for 10 months and let’s not even speak about the emails and calls I never made.

Someone, please help me. Is there a way to get out of this endless ring?

Inspirations for today’s text was from this amazing TED Talk.
If you are like me, please watch it and tell your own experiences in the comments!

In this post series, I write 10 minutes without stopping, editing or planning anything. I just write whatever is in my mind and publish it like that. 
Expect to see more of this every Thursday!

With love,

Procrastinating Viivi

Back home but not really

Hello there!
How are you? I have just returned to home from my almost three weeks long trip around Eastern Europe and like always after coming back home I am kind of lost. I love just relaxing at home but at the same time I have too much time. Nothing has changed even if once again I have learned so many new things.

I have had an adventure that should change the whole world but everything is like before I left. My room is still a big mess and far from the point where I could even think about cleaning it. My family and friends still go to school and work like before I left. Everyone smiles and talks like I had been here all along. They have all the rights to continue their lives like before but it’s hard for me.

Every time I come back I want to leave again even more badly. My feet get itchy and mind wonders thousands of kilometers to other worlds. I can’t stop writing stories of my feelings. Maybe I am just meant to be wanderer who never returns? But then again I know that this three weeks was close to my own limit. Waking up in new city every other day is amazing but gets tiring after a while. I needed this break and still my mind just wants to go despite the tiredness of my body.

Traveling is addictive. It’s a little bit like smoking or using drugs. You know that being on the road all the time won’t be good for you. It’s stressful and it wears down your body. You know you shouldn’t and still you keep looking for those new flights like alcoholic for the bottle. You just have to and that’s it.

I have been at home for two days. Two full days and I already feel like my mind never truly returned. I love being at home. I love seeing my friends and family. I love sleeping in my own bed dreaming endlessly of nothing. I love just being here and relaxing in the safe environment I am used to. I love home but for some reason I can’t enjoy it for 100%. There is always this small voice telling me to go. Go and see new places, new worlds, new miracles.

Is this just me? Or is this one of the traveler problems we all have? Maybe I have just bad case of wanderlust or my mind is tired of the normal life. Whatever the reason is I am not sure how to control this. Writing seems to help. Writing this blog, writing stories and even writing work things. My two passions. Writing and traveling. I have to find the balance between them…

So, have you ever felt like this? What is in your mind after you have returned from big adventure?

With love,

Always Lost Viivi

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Photo: Mehmet Kürşat Değer

Scared of Writing

I have no idea what to write.

I am surprised that I have been writing my travel blog for year and half. Usually my blogging has stopped after the first few months. Now I have been writing bravely even when it has been tiring. And then these last two months happened. I have zero inspiration to write blog. I mean I truly want to and I have ideas but for some reason I just can’t find the strenght to start.

Writing is hard and complicated.

Having readers makes it easier but still so impossible at times. I feel like my English sucks. My posts are just too long and boring. I am writing things that no one wants to read. Why can’t it just be easy? Why I have to care so much?

I have so many stories I want to share with people who for some reason read my texts. I never wrote about my Gdansk or Brighton adventures. Both of those trips have many funny stories I want to tell. In Gdansk I met crazy umbrella man who made me hate gender stereotypes and in Brighton I fell all over again for solo travel. So many stories, so little inspiration.

Maybe that’s why I started writing for this blog again. I for some reason lost all my readers here when playing with hosting services and that may have been the best thing ever. About 20 readers. It feels like a freedom again. Maybe this will help me to find that feeling of writing without caring of anything.

It’s kind of funny that I am so stressed out of people reading my texts. Usually I am that person who cares of nothing. I travel even if my friends and family don’t think it is a good idea. I dress like I want and don’t use make-up just because it’s too tiring. It’s my life and I will do what I want. But this writing thing has always been my weak spot. I love it too much so any bad comment makes me panic. What if I am not good enough? What if this thing I love more than anything (even more than travel) won’t work out?

I have always been good at writing. Not so much in English but in Finnish. People have always praised my writings. During school years I always got full score from creative writing assignments. I loved writing and others loved reading my texts.

Right now I can easily say that writing is my thing and that I am good at it. One year ago the situation was totally different. If someone praised my writing, I thought they were just lying. When someone asked what I can do well, I always thought about writing but never said it out loud. I was ashamed. I still am sometimes but it is getting easier. There is so many people who are better than I at this creative writing thing so how could I ever be good enough in it.

I can now admit that writing is my thing and that I can’t do anything else with my life if I truly want to be happy. And that’s why writing is so scary. If I fail what is left of me? If writing doesn’t work out what can I do?

So, here I am stuck with these feelings. I have no idea how to get over them and maybe there is no other way than just keep writing.

With love,

Scaredy-Cat Viivi

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Photo:Nick Morrison