True raw emotions.

Today I want to speak about suicide. Yesterday someone who I have never met and someone who I don’t even know killed himself. I have never even talked to this person and he had no idea that I even existed but still, this death has impacted me. What else would you except when he impacted my life while still living?

Today I want to speak about suicide but I won’t. I don’t think I can. And that’s why I will tell you a small story.

This is a story of young Viivi who was always lost in her life and who didn’t feel like she belonged. This is a story of someone who found peace and way to continue from listening to music. And then when time went by this changes to a story of her finding a best friend through this strange world of listening to music from bands that you can’t even understand.

It starts at primary school. I can’t remember how. I see a video of band singing language I can’t understand and they are dancing almost too perfectly. It’s odd and new but still enchanting. Weeks, months and years go by me listening to music by myself. At some point, it’s not just the music and amazing videos. I start to watch reality shows, dramas and I remember all members of these bands by name.

I still have no idea what they are saying but I don’t care. I don’t need to understand to enjoy the music.

Then I go to high school and I meet someone who shares my interest. We become friends, travel to concerts, laugh for the silly reality shows and before anything else enjoy the music. It’s a magical time of my life. It’s so easy to be happy. When your own life doesn’t feel right, you can just make yourself to forget everything. Music takes all your worries away and these silly but talented people performing it can always bring a smile to your face.

Years start running faster and my life is changing. I find something else. Traveling, writing blogs and living my life. There is no time for everything but I never forget. When I open Spotify I still listen to kpop more often than not. Even one photo or one memory from the time of my life can make me delighted. It was my youth and it’s still my future. You never truly get over the things you have once loved and today I can see it so clearly.

Yesterday I was messaging with my friend totally normally and then out of nowhere, she asked me did I know why the internet was full of sad Jonghyun. I didn’t. It took a while and then she told me that Jjong had committed suicide. It didn’t sink in first. I haven’t been actively following what happens with Shinee for a long time but they are still one of the bands closest to my heart. I have cried, I have laughed, I have lived listening to their songs.

Shinee was one of the first bands I fell in love with. And no I don’t speak about kpop. I speak about bands generally in all music categories. There are about million memories I could share now because my mind is right now full of them.

Being fifteen and laughing at Amigo because in Finnish the song sounds like they are singing over and over again that they want to fuck. Dancing and singing RingDingDong alone in my room. Being addicted to so many of their songs that it is not even funny. Crying while to The Reason even if I only could understand the words from translations. Still remembering the words of Sherlock even if it has been years.

And lastly listening to Tell Me What To Do over and over again just last week in New York when I was feeling a little bit homesick. Even now it’s kpop and music that makes me survive the hardest parts of my life. Even now after years, it’s Shinee. It will always be Shinee.

Kuva:  BRUNO CERVERA

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My week of missing traveling

Hello once again everyone! I hope you have had another amazing week. I – like the title says – missed traveling and was busy getting ready for my summer job starting. So normal week that it is quite hard to even describe.

If we start from the Monday, my yearning for traveling started right away. I have never taken anyone else to the airport. It has always been me who has left. However this Monday I drove my little sister (okay, she is already adult but for me she is forever my little sister…) to the airport and left her there. She is going for month long interail around Europe. Yes, I am totally jealous! I want to travel even if I just returned from a few weeks long trip. But now I have work to do for June and July and only after that I have planned Rome trip with my mom.

But really taking someone else to the airport is so odd feeling. I am used to seeing airports as places for me to escape to somewhere magical. Airports mean adventure. But now I just drove in front of it. Said goodbyes for my sister and drove back home watching airplanes taking of in my rear view mirror. I wasn’t in one of those planes and it hurts. My whole week went missing traveling and feeling like I was in wrong place. I should have been in some exotic country, not in cold boring Finland. Now my work has started and fortunately those feelings aren’t as vivid anymore. I love my job and this summer is going to be amazing.

During the rest of the week I met friends, ate too much ice cream and just enjoyed the last days of my summer holiday. I may have watched almost whole season of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries but I am not going to admit anything. In addition to just chilling and going to flea market shopping with friends, I was as dog sitter for my family’s dog and did long walks around the nearby forest.

After week of relaxing my weekend was full of activities. First I was looking after my friends dog while she was at work (that took all Saturday morning and afternoon). Right after she got her dog I left with my mother to my cousin’s graduation party. It was, well, everything I was waiting for. It was like parties with my family always goes. Fun, chaotic and a lot of arguing. Fortunately, good food makes everything better.

Usually people keep asking about my future plans but surprisingly this time there was almost no talking about my wrong university decisions. My grandpa is giving up with the hope of me going to Estonia to study veterinary. Even if I survived school talks someone almost revealed my travel blog to my grandpa. Last time he knew that I wrote blog it ended up printed to our family book. This time I rather keep it just in internet…

Then on Sunday I had to wake up too early for my own good and drive to work. And here I am now, just working working working. I will be living the whole summer on our cottage and enjoying Finnish summer life. What would be better way to spend your holiday?

Song Of The Week

Noah Curys – I’m Stuck

I hope you are having an amazing day!

Lost Viivi

Camera shopping and travel planning

I think this must be my personal record! Third week in a row I am here writing my weekly wrap-up post. Even if it is already Tuesday… I don’t know if anyone even wants to read boring stuff like this but hey I have never let it stop me.

Last week was quite boring one for me. It was finally warm here in Finland so I ate too much ice cream and spent days outside enjoying the sun. I also had time to see a lot of friends, do some big life decisions that have been on my mind for a while and buy new camera. What else would one wish from the first week of May?

Week 19 And Summer Is In Finland!

When the week started I also had finally returned back to live in my childhood town. Because I don’t have proper place anywhere I kept going between my mom’s, dad’s and grandpa’s places. I had planned doing some cleaning but like usually that never happened. All my things are still totally in chaos after the move. Maybe I will get to the cleaning this week… Probably not.

Because I never cleaned I had a lot of time to see my friends. I visited one of my best friends in her work. And helped taking care of goats after a long time. If you didn’t know, I am in theory professional animal career. I studied it for three years. It felt good to work with animals after a long time.

I also went to buy camera for me with my another friend. I have been writing my travel blog for a little over year but I have never owned a camera. I have always been borrowing one from my other family members and most of the photos in my blog are taken with phone. But now I own Sony a5100 camera and I am totally in love!

We went to look for the camera on Saturday and I first didn’t mean to even buy it any time soon. Still, I almost bought it right there and then. We visited all three places selling cameras near my home. I found the one I want from the first shop but we still visited other places after returning there. I decided not to buy the camera because my mum was suggesting another one for me.

I returned home and started to regret my decision not to buy it. On Sunday I went back right after the opening time because I had already fallen in love. However my camera bying didn’t go as well as planned. I totally blame the handsome employee who sold it for me.

finnish_forest
Fortunately, Finland has many good places to practice photography without anyone seeing me embarrass myself!

Story Of Unfortunate Camera Buying Trip

I came to the shop but there was no employees on the camera section. I of course already knew what camera I wanted but I still needed to know more about the insurance that would cost about 80€ more. After studying business for a year the one thing I had learned was to always research everything thoroughly before giving away your money.

I was walking around waiting for employee who would help me when this dreamy looking man came to me. Why the heck do I always encounter the good looking sellers? It would be a lot easier to talk with old ugly looking man than model-like man (okay, model-like is exaggeration but I have always had thing for pretty eyes and charming smile). At least this time it wasn’t me who failed in the end…

After I told him that I needed help with camera I got uncertain answer that he may not be the best person to help me but let’s try. I thought that it would be okay because I had already decided the camera I wanted. Waiting for someone who knew more would have been good idea. I would have saved a lot of time.

I even pitied the boy after asking too many questions about the insurance and then demanding to see the official terms and conditions. He had to google them for me and at this point I should have realized that he had no idea what he was doing. But hey, you can’t be angry for pretty eyes.

I left the store with my new camera and sill dazed by that dreamy boy only to realize at home that he had given me the wrong camera. Great. That’s all I could think about when driving back to the store to get my lovely black Sony a5100. It wasn’t that much of bother and I returned back to home happily.

When opening my camera later at that night and starting to use it I realized yet another thing. I needed memory card and the boy had not sold me one and hadn’t even mentioned that I needed one. This is probably clear for all camera owners but keep in mind that this really is my first own camera. At this point I may have been cursing the cute eyed boy but at least I got my lovely camera and memory card to use it in the end…

 

Song Of The Week

Norma John – Blackbird

It is finally time for Eurovision Song Contest! Fun fact: I am big fan and every year watching Eurovision is big thing in my family. Finland’s song didn’t charm at first but it has now found its place on my heart (I feel like this happens every year…) I don’t know if they have potential to win but hey at least for once we don’t have to be embarrassed. Vote for Finland! Or at least listen the song.

 

I hope you are having an amazing day.
With love,

Viivi Severina

 

And Winter Is Back…

I kept my promise and here is another weekly wrap-up post. Maybe this will be really a thing here in my blog? Because my holiday started last week I will have more time to write and blog. I will keep trying to write once a week in this blog but who knows what will happen. At least now I will start updating two times a week, like I have meant to do, in my TRAVEL BLOG.

 

Snowy Week Number 18…

If I had to describe my week with one word it would be SNOW… Most of other Finns probably agree with me. Even in my lovely home country Finland it should be spring and sunny at this time of the year. Right now when I am writing this (disclaimer: I wrote this on Sunday and forgot to publish…) it looks like the photo underneath:

finland_in_may

Who allowed this winter to return? Unfortunately for me, I had to drive with summer tires for hours when I moved back to my mom’s place. Like I mentioned above my school ended and summer holiday began so it was time to move out of my student city. Feels so odd because I lived there for a year and I don’t know if I will ever return.

While driving car full of stuff I took with me while moving I saw something super Finnish and funny. It was snowing but all ice cream kiosks were open. I mean, why not? When summer once starts in Finland we are not giving up. Not even if it means lining up for ice cream in snowfall and freezing weather!

Of course I stopped for ice cream during my drive like a many other people. There I stood in snowfall waiting for my turn to buy ice cream. I had my sneakers on and the rest of my way I had to suffer with wet shoes. But totally worth it! I opened the ice cream season and now I can say that it is officially summer.

After returning back to home I didn’t do a much, just some baking and resting after hard moving week. This resting included watching too much Netflix. Right now I am totally hooked with series like Brooklyn Nine-Nine and White Collar. My love for crime series is just endless and these two series have plots/style out of the ordinary detective series.

My long Netflix marathons aren’t so good thing because I have soon entrance exams to university. I have still no idea what I want to do so I don’t even know what to study. I have kind of fallen in love with translation jobs so maybe I will try to study English? If I ever get in because my language skills are the worst…

 

Song Of The Week:

Julia Brennan – Inner Demons

This week I have been totally hooked to this song. Julia is so pretty, her voice AMAZING and that video just so aesthetic. I would also totally stole those black jeans if I had a change…

 

So, how is your week going? Any fun stories? Or maybe new music for me to listen? Like always all comments are welcome.

With love,

Viivi Severina

I’m not a boy, I like pink!

I really want to write something more than just answers to blogger awards in this blog… I have always been good at writing random things (and also boring text without any proper meaning…) So, I was thinking about trying to write something every week. Trying to write. If you read my travel blog you may already know that I am the worst at keeping these kind of promises.

BUT my school is ending in a week and I have whole summer to write more. Maybe I will make this to work? So, wait for weekly wrap ups or whatever you want to call these on Monday or Sundays (or never). I will just talk about my week and maybe you can tell me about your week in the comments.

 

So, what happened to me on week 17?

To tell the truth, nothing much. I was sick the whole week and I had to move all furniture out of my apartment. I have to move out this Friday so last week I had meant to start cleaning and stuff. In the end I did almost nothing.

The start of last week was nice because I was still hyped up from my Easter family trip to Stockholm. We saw a lot of beautiful cherry blossoms there and now all I can think about is how could I save money to travel to Japan next spring. I just have to see more of that beauty!

(I may be quite boyish but I love everything pink…)

In addition to moving, being sick and recovering from travel, I sat in car for too long. First when my dad was helping me to move my stuff back to my hometown. Then another five hours trip back to my current university town. I love driving alone for long periods of time so I had no complaining. It calms my mind and right now I have too many things in my head.

I stopped for tea three times just to relax, walk around gas stations and enjoy the weather. (That last part is totally ironical…) About half of my drive back to my student city it was snowing. Snow in April… Welcome to Finland! Funny thing is that even if it was snowing I also saw the first ice cream kiosks of this summer.

I’m not kidding! It’s so comical to see open kiosk and signs for ice cream while you are driving in snowfall. And because Finns are desperate for summer to start I even saw customers in four of the five kiosks I saw during that five hours. Who wouldn’t love ice cream even if it is cold and wintery?

 

Funny Story Of The Week

I am someone who is always in some kind of problems or in awkward situations. Last week maybe the funniest moment I had with another human being was in gas station’s toilet. I had stopped for tea break during my long drive back home and of course first things first I decided to find the toilets. I went in, did my business and all good. I was washing my hands when a little girl (maybe about 5 years old but I am bad at guessing ages…) and her mother walked to the sink next to mine.

Totally normal and all good I dried my hands until I heard whisper behind me:

“Mom… What is that boy doing in girls’ toilet?”

At this point I was trying to not laugh and the mom looked super embarrassed while explaining to her child that I was in fact girl. I mean I have short hair, boyish face and my huge hoodie hided my boobs so I can understand why the little girl was mistaken. This is not even the first time something like this has happened so I am kind of used to it. But every time this happens it is still the funniest thing if you ask from me.

I am forever confusing children (and sometimes even adults)! 😀

 

Song Of The Week

SVGV – Who Am I

THIS SONG! It is just too real… The lyrics are like straight from my mind. Somehow it has always been hard for me to know who I am. I feel like everyone around me know what they want to do and where to go with their lives. Me in the other hand… Well, I have no idea. I have always wanted to do everything but I don’t see myself doing any of those things for the rest of my life.

In the morning, in the street
In the music, in the beat
In the people I see
I’ve been looking for myself

In the train, In the rain
In the pain, In the gain
In the city I came
I’ve been looking for myself

Whatever I do and where ever I go I just feel like I am looking for myself. Maybe this thing would be my thing? Maybe this way of living the right one for me? I don’t really know. And I have never understood. How can some people just decide so easily what they want to do? I mean this world is full of different choices. So many ways one can live. I just don’t know how could I choose only one life path for myself…

 

I didn’t mean to end this so dramatically and depressingly. Sorry. So, how have you been? Any good or bad moments you want to share? Let’s hope I will write again next Monday (or at least some time in the future…)

With love,

Viivi Severina

10 Songs I Listened Today

Because the clock is already 9pm and I still have over hour of travelling ahead of me, today’s 10 things post is going to be short one. Here is 10 songs I have listened today (more than ten times…). So shorter said 10 songs I’m currently addicted to.

 

1.Alvaro Soler: Sofia

2. James TW: When You Love Someone

How can someone write cute song about divorce? Well this one has succeeded greatly.

Sometimes moms and dads fall out of love
Sometimes two homes are better than one
Some things you can’t tell your sister cause she’s still too young
Yeah you’ll understands
When you love someone

3. BTS: Am I Wrong

It’s unusual for me to like band’s all songs but BTS is exception. I literally love all their songs. Powerful pop/rap songs with meaningful lyrics and amazing performances/music videos are something I keep enjoying song after song.

4. Evelina, Mikael Gabriel: Honey

4. ALMA: Karma

I already mentioned this song once before but yes I’m still totally hooked to it! Powerful womans have been currently my favorite music genre.

6. Blackpink: BoomBayah

7. Ariana Grande: Problem

I think everyone has heard this song? I can’t even explain why I’m still listening it. This song just is my kind of music. Strong and funny.

8. Bea Miller: Young Blood

And the voices will get loud
If you never learn to shut them out
If you’re lost you can be found
If you follow me until you hear the sound

9. Sanni: Mörköjä

Of course I had to include some Finnish music to my list. Sanni’s new album is pure magic so deciding one of her songs wasn’t so hard. You can google the songs lyrics in English but basically I like the story the song is telling. Unconditional love where someone loves the singer despite her not loving herself.

10. Julie Bergan: Arigato

 

I’m always trying to find new music to listen. I literally like every kind of music so please recommend me your favorite songs! Who knows, maybe someday I will make top 10 list of songs recommended for me.

And if you are new here, hello! This blog is for everything random and I publish list of 10 even more random things every Sunday. If you want to see my main blog you can find it from www.gotravelglobal.com and like its name says there I write about my travels.

 

With love

Viivi Severina

October Addictions

It’s again the end of another month and that means we get to take closer look to my life during that month. Are you ready to hear about my likes and dislikes?

My Month In A Few Words:

October has been busy one. The school has properly started, I went to London and have met a lot of new people.

School
I haven’t learnt so many new things yet but I am totally enjoying the subjects. Marketing, law and business. I think this may be my thing but can’t be sure yet. Currently this is my only school plan so let’s see where is goes.

Blogging
My blog isn’t secret anymore so it has caused some extra stress for me. I try to not think it too much but it’s hard. I don’t even know if poeple I know are reading. I just know they now know about this blog (if they have found it trough my travel blog).

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October Addictions:

Music

I have been mostly listening inspiration playlists from Youtube but in addition to that here are some of my lately addiction songs:

BTS – Blood, Sweat & Tears

What is there not to love in this song? The music video is too artsy for me but everything else makes me fall in love with BTS all over again. And I just want to point out that the whole album (you can find it from Spotify) is golden! Suga’s song “First Love” is masterpiece.

Hayley Kiyoko

Hayley is one of my favorite singers and actresses. It’s kind of funny story. First time I have ever seen her was probably the Disney Channel movie ‘Lemonade Mouth’, then in the Fosters and somewhere between there I had listened her music. I just never realised it was same girl in that movie, TV show and songs. The I saw her in CSI: Cyber and she quickly became my favorite actress and singer. She is brilliant and so is this song!

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Movies

Now You See Me 2
I loved the first movie and the second one didn’t dissapoint me even if I had high expections. I’m in love with Jack, totally my kind of man. If you don’t know the story I can just say: watch this if you lov magic, thieves and cute friendships. It’s a little bit like a leverage but with magic. Basically it has everything I hope for a good plot.

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TV-series

House Of Lies
I tought this Tv-series was about law and boring stuff (I’m not a fan of law shows..) But then I read from somewhere that it’s kind of similar as Leverage (my ultimate favorite TV show ever!) so I decided to give it a change. I kind of like it. A little too much nudity and dirty jokes for my tastes.

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Books

Harry Potter
I didn’t have a lot of time to read this month (well expect some school books…). However because we decided to visit Harry Potter studio tour thing in London of course I had to read something Potter related to get in mood. I read the first chapters of book three but didn’t have time to finish it…

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Places

Empty Beach
I did small trip to the nearby beach to see the sunrise. I don’t know anything as beautiful as empty beach and the day getting brighter and brighter every moment. See the photo belov. Beautiful isn’t it?

sunrising.jpg

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The Important Questions Of October:

What it means to write blog when “real” people are reading?
I still have no idea… Maybe continue as before and try to not think it too much?

How to install new fire alarm?
Last month I was pondering how to change the battery of fire alarm. Suprisingly I learnt that! But also realized that the fire alarm I had used so much time to change the battery didn’t work… So now my problem is how the heck do I use this new alarm my mom gave to me. I can’t adult…

Vilken annan bransch skulle intressera dig?
This question is in swedish. I have no idea what it means and it’s my homework to answer it (and twenty other questions). I’m totally in trouble and don’t know how can I ever pass this course!

.         .       .

Where Have I Travelled?

London
We went with my sister to London! I have been there four times (I think?) and it never gets old. I totally love big cities and masses running around the streets. I had fun and experienced a lot touristy and some not so touristy things.

Train travelling
I have been going back and forth between my new home and former home cities. I like being in train because I always get a lot work done. (I’m in train right now!)

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Plans for September

Survive alive from the stressful school days. Yeah, that’s it.

How are you?

With love,

Viivi Severina